The power of music

January 27, 2014

So there you are, listening to music and suddenly you find yourself in tears.  Ever happened to you?

It seems to be happening to me a lot recently and there’s just nothing I can do about it.  Yes, I know I’m still in a pretty emotional state of mind after everything that’s happened recently but never has it been so apparent to me just how powerful music actually is on your state of mind.  I’ve spoken to a few people recently who have confirmed that music has a similar effect on them, not just in the immediate aftermath of loss but many years later, and not always following negative times or events.  It seems that music is a media which is really able to stir our thoughts and memories and bring us back to that point of raw emotion almost at the flick of a switch.

I must admit that I’m finding Sundays incredibly difficult at the moment and that’s because my Church is by nature very musical.  I’ve advocated in the importance of music for so long and I cannot imagine life without it but right now, right in these days of such immense pain, I’m really struggling with it and I’m struggling not because it is bringing out any particular memories and not because the music has any specific relevance.  I can’t even explain what it is, I just know that music is bringing me to tears incredibly easily.  To be honest it’s quite an emotional rollercoaster & I seem to be coming away feeling almost physically drained and just so raw and fragile and vulnerable.  And it’s at times like these that I just need people to be there for me, to talk to me, to distract me, to comfort me.  No, if I’m really honest I don’t even need all of that, in reality I just want them to be there for me and to hold me.  And right now, despite the support & understanding of one or two people I’m not really finding that anywhere and that makes things feel even more raw.

So what to do?  I’m told that in time it gets easier, that our minds are able to remember happy times but I’m also told that even in many years, music can still have that powerful effect on us and bring memories flooding back alongside the tears.  Hmm, not sure that’s something to look forward to but in the meantime I guess I need to keep carrying a packet of tissues around with me!!


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