Alone in a crowd

June 14, 2015

I watched a discussion on television the other day where they were discussing whether or not it was right for women to remain single or whether we should all strive to get married, because that’s the norm in society. Some of the views expressed annoyed & angered me. At the same time I agree it is the norm and if you’re not married many people look at you differently. Sometimes they don’t actually even look at you at all and it seems not being married makes you a non person. Unfortunately I often find myself feeling like that, particularly at church which is sad. It hurts. I know it’s only silly little things but I feel them, perhaps I’m just too sensitive?

Today I was at a wedding and it happened again. Arriving alone I had to decide where to sit. I found a couple of people outside & tried to tag along but it became clear that that wasn’t what they wanted and I found myself hovering, not knowing what to do. I even asked someone if I could sit next to them but they were saving the seat. I felt very lost. It’s just hard. I guess people in couples just don’t see it. They don’t realise how difficult it can be to arrive on your own & try to fit in. Maybe it comes easily to some people. Unfortunately I’m not one of those people.

So what should I have done? What can I do in situations like that? Maybe I’m feeling it more this week cos it’s been a tough week, one that I’ve really struggled through? I don’t know.

So although I enjoyed my day, I’m now sitting at home, alone, reflecting on things, wishing they’d gone differently. Hopeful that perhaps next time I’ll be pleasantly surprised. Trouble is, I’m just not that optimistic.



  1. You’re never alone madam.x

  2. Oh, and please don’t stop writing.

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