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Remembering

December 2, 2015

Today I remembered you. It’s hard to believe that two whole years have passed already. It doesn’t seem so long ago that I last saw you, that I told you I loved you & asked you to fight & get better.

Two years ago the world shifted & it just hasn’t been the same since. There have been tough times, lots of them actually & it’s been all the harder without you here helping me face them.

Today I’ve tried to keep busy. I spent some time with Dad but we didn’t talk about it. It was like the elephant in the room. We both knew it was there. It was rather surreal eating tea, remembering that meal we’d just finished two years ago when that awful call came. Then the memories came flooding back of those awful hours & days that followed.

It hurt today that only one person remembered & asked how I was. That simple gesture meant so much, just knowing someone had remembered & thought about me & knew it would be tough. I  guess it stressed the point, that you’re gone, that I can’t talk to you. It made me remember again how much I miss you, of that huge hole that now exists.

Today has been a day for memories. Tomorrow will be another day trying to live without you. I don’t know yet how to do that but I’m trying.

Know that no matter what, I’ll never forget. I’m grateful for those years we had together, for everything you did for me, for all the sacrifices you made. I can’t repay them now but know I’m grateful and I love you xx

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