Archive for the ‘friendship’ Category

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When friendships end 

June 30, 2017

I had a strange dream last night. 

I dreamt about someone who used to be a really good friend, someone I was really close to, and with whom I shared thoughts & dreams I’ve never shared with anyone before. I guess it was a unique kind of friendship & it meant a lot to me. Fast forward to today & we’ve not spoken for a couple of years. It’s a shame & I’m disappointed about that, I guess it feels a bit like failure & that mebbe the friendship was one sided. Who knows? All the same I thought I was ok with that & had accepted that they’d moved on & just didn’t have room in their life for me anymore.

So, going back to my dream, well it was one of those nice dreams. Now I’ve never liked the word nice but that’s what it was, nice and comforting & I felt good in my dream & when I woke up too. And that’s when I realised I miss them, despite everything. I’ve had a pretty tough year one way or another & things are difficult at the moment. I guess it’s at times like that that we all need friends & the absence of someone is all the more noticeable. 

But I guess some friends just move on, forget about us & live their lives regardless. That’s a shame. Friends have always been and will always be important to me, not something to just throw away & forget about.  But again, maybe that’s just me?

Miss you! 

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Birthday dilemmas

January 5, 2014

There are a couple of drawbacks about having a birthday at this time of year. There’s the obvious fact that people forget. And by people I don’t just mean acquaintances, I mean family or good friends.  Praps it’s just me but if I don’t get the card on my birthday, then I may as well not get it.  I mean, I know there are bank holidays at this time of year but equally my birthday has always been the same time.  Sometimes I feel like shouting at people to get their act together!  Buy a diary.  Set a reminder on your phone.  Anything. Cos to be brutally honest, no, it’s not alright to forget just because it’s Christmas time and you’re busy.  But I digress!

The main drawback for birthdays at the end of the year is in trying to arrange doing something with friends.  It seems I have to arrange my own birthday celebrations cos besides the traditional family meal out on the day, no-one ever suggests anything.  So this year, as in previous years I’ve taken the bull by the horns and arranged my own thing, part of my mission to keep myself busy & occupied with fun things.  Sadly though, I was a little disillusioned yet again.  People just don’t seem to want to put themselves out.  Numbers were already down cos people are away visiting but from those who are around, as usual, I find myself being let down & disappointed. Hmm, not good.

I must add at this point that I did have a really good evening though with 3 friends (one of whom I’d never met before this evening!) and so it wasn’t a disaster, far from it in fact, although I do have a house full of food that hasn’t been eaten now!  Eek!

So should I not bother in future?  Should I just resign myself to the fact that people aren’t interested enough in helping me celebrate?

No.  I’m not the sort of person to do that.  It’s not in my nature to give up on people.  So who knows, perhaps this time next year I’ll be writing a similar post but I live in hope that that won’t be the case.

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Friendship

January 2, 2014

friendshipThey say that in times of trouble you find out who your friends are. I never realised how true that was before but over the past few months & particular the last few weeks, I’ve been surprised in both good & bad ways by people in my life.

They have been some who have said they are there or who know what I’m going through but haven’t followed through in the way I’d expect & have been almost conspicuous by their absence. Others just vanished from my life weeks, even months ago. They effectively turned the page on me. That makes me sad.

At the other extreme of the spectrum there have been some people who have gone out of their way to be supportive, who’ve checked up on me regularly, reminded me to eat & sleep, told me to be kind to myself, something that I’m only now just beginning to understand. Some friends have pushed aside their own demons & fought through their own pain & fears to support me. I will never forget their kindness.

Someone told me I was being carried on a blanket of prayer. Wow! I think that must be true because I really wouldn’t have got to this point otherwise.

I guess the lesson I’m learning from all this is that true friends & family will always be there for me. If some of them aren’t, then are they truly friends? Do I really want to spend time with them, give energy supporting & worrying about them? I have also learnt how true friends behave and I need to remember that, remember how much their support means to me right now and then in time, remember to pay that forwards to others.

I’m reminded of the words of the song:

When my heart was so broken that I could not pray,
When love wasn’t easy to see.
Someone was there, somebody cared,
Somebody prayed for me.
Read the rest of this entry ?

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Apologies & Happy Christmas

December 21, 2011

To all those who follow my blog, you’ll have noticed that it has been distinctly lacking in entries for the past few months.  Hmm, not good, is it?

I apologise for the lack of posts, of snippets, of links, of entries about stuff which may or may not interest you greatly.  I’m back on track again now though so expect to be amazed & bewildered by the Reflections blog  in the days to come – or just note that I will be posting entries again sometime soon! 😉

The photo a day challenge came to an end in summer (I know, I failed to last the whole year, but hey ho, what can I say!) but I will be uploading all those images that I never got around to posting, some time over the next couple of weeks.

So all it leaves for me to say for now is: Happy Christmas to each & every one of you.   May you be surrounded by those who you love & care for at this special time of year, may you know the joy of friends and family, recognise how fortunate you are to have them & to be loved and cared for by others, to have those things which mean the most to you and those which we all take for granted, and may you feel the blessings of this special Christmas time of year within your own heart.

Away in a Manager
No crib for a bed
The little Lord Jesus
Lay down his sweet head
The stars in the bright sky
Looked down where he lay
The little Lord Jesus
Asleep on the hay

The cattle are lowing 
The baby awakes
But little Lord Jesus
No crying he makes
I love Thee Lord Jesus
Look down from the sky
And stay by my side
Until morning is nigh

Be near me Lord Jesus
I ask thee to stay
Close by me forever,
And love me I pray
Bless all the dear children
In thy tender care
And fit us for Heaven
To live with Thee there

x

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Celebrate (Year in photos 2011)

January 12, 2011

This evening I went out with a few friends to celebrate my birthday.  Ok so it’s not my birthday today, it was actually 2 weeks ago, but you try having a birthday at a time of year when no-one wants to do anything & doesn’t even remember it. Anyway, one of my friends has her birthday 5 days before Christmas (mine is 5 days after Christmas) and so she knows what it’s like to want to celebrate at a time when no-one else can be bothered.  Hence this evening was planned before Christmas as something for us to look forward to in the bleak January evenings.

Despite the planning there were only 5 of us in the end – people always seem to have difficulties sticking to dates in their diary & so there have been lots of cancellations this week, some of them for the most ridiculous reasons if I’m honest.  It’s a bit annoying & disheartening when you’ve asked people to help you celebrate & then they decide that taking something back to the shops is more important.  Hmm, why do people not think anything of letting others down?  Each to their own I guess.

So, back to this evening.   Well despite the small numbers we had a great evening and I really enjoyed myself.  It was a definitely a case of quality rather than quantity.  An evening of good food, good company, good conversation and laughter.  What more could I ask for? 🙂

And today’s photo?  Well it was going to be a photo of some of the lovely tapas that we shared, but I forgot to take the picture in time & we quickly demolished all the food.  So instead?  Well you get a photo of some empty dishes instead and will just have to use your imagination to picture the delights that were inside them earlier 😉

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Cushioned with love (Year in photos 2011)

January 8, 2011

I received a parcel today and the box was filled with those little bags of air to protect the contents.  You know the ones I mean?  So nothing new there, you might think.  But then you’d be wrong.  Because these little bags of air were different to the usual ones, as the little bags of air in this parcel were emblazoned with the words “cushioned with love”.  How good is that?

I usually just pop all those bags of air & put them straight into the rubbish but not this time.  No?  No. Because these bags of air are different.  They’re not just filled with air, they’ve been cushioned with love especially for me! 🙂

Ok, so it’s just 3 words printed onto the bag, but the thought behind that can be so much more profound than just those 3 words if we put it into the context of our own lives.  How often do we want to feel as though we are cushioned by love?  That there is someone out there caring for us, protecting us, sticking up for us, thinking about us, believing in us and loving us?  I guess it’s one of those fundamental human needs that everybody has, isn’t it?  That search for somebody who will do all those things?  Who will always be there for us?  And not necessarily in a materialistic way either and not in a way where they need to do tons of stuff for us.  No, I think we all just need somebody to simply be there, to cushion us from the world with their love. I know I do.

Are you fortunate enough to have found that somebody in your life?  Are you that somebody to anyone else? At the beginning of this year, when we’re all probably reflecting on so many things, perhaps now is the time to be thankful if you have that cushion around you.

Cushioned with love

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I’m not a non person!!

June 11, 2010

Why is it that if you’re single you’re considered to be a non person?

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve not been invited to that wedding or party or christening or other event, where the only reason for this exclusion seems to be that I’m single.

Why is that?
Are people just uncomfortable inviting someone who’s on their own,  do they simply just forget about you and not remember you’re there, just cos there’s only 1 of you?

It’s a horrible thing. Life is hard enough as it is being a single person within our society which seems to be very much geared around couples, without friends “forgetting” you at special times. Yes, going to events on your own can be hard – I must admit arriving on my own somewhere can be a horrible thing.  Actually going in through the door on your own, into a room full of people in pairs is something I really do hate.  It doesnt do wonders for your self-confidence and on the contrary it can even make you feel inferior, that there’s something wrong with you!  But, at the end of the day actually being involved & included is much better than being ignored & forgotten.

So why do I have to be part of a couple just to become an entity, someone who is included in things, someone who has a part to play, someone who can add some value to things, someone who is a person in their own right?

It’ll be a sad day when people will exclude you just because you’re single but I very much think that that day is already here 😦

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